Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

I have had many people comment on Facebook, via e-mail and in conversation about how much they like the posts from the “Teaching Little Kyla” series. I’ll be posting more of those even though I’ve debated renaming the series, “Learning from Little Kyla.” I’m also going to add some posts on family dynamics and parenting for those of you who are young parents like us or for those who may be parents soon. Sarah and I hope our experience can be useful.

You can also expect some upcoming posts on environmental sustainability. My thought pattern for adding posts on family/parenting and creation care centers on the idea of stewardship. We have many things that have been given. A few of those include our family members, our bodies, and the earth. Those things which we have been given must be cared for and nurtured as an active response of gratitude (worship) toward God.

I sent an update through Twitter yesterdag evening that said, “how to get your kid to eat like this: http://twitgoo.com/px6cg coming soon to http://www.subversiveREFORMATION.com The picture below was attached. Here’s what worked for us:

1) No fast food.

Sarah and I disagree here a little bit. I’m for absolutely no fast food while Sarah suggests that moderation is the key (i.e. your kid won’t die by having a small order of fries once every two weeks).

2) Model healthy eating.

Don’t expect your kid to be healthy if you are not. A frequent late night snack of mine is steamed broccoli.

3) Plant a garden.

We turned around and Kyla was chomping on a whole tomato. Tomatoes are her favorite food and she is now very excited about planting a garden and growing her own food again this year.

4) Start with Veggies.

When Kyla was progressing through the toothless stages of baby food, we made sure that before we introduced any fruits that she was eating every kind of vegetable that we could sell or make.

5) Take your kid grocery shopping.

Let your little one pick out some things in the fresh fruit and vegetable section rather than the cookie aisle.

6) Stick to Cheerios.

Think of all the ways that sugar is introduced. One of those is by cereals. None of us really cereal other than whole grains. I love me some Lucky Charms and Frosted Flakes but I’ve been resisting the urge and doing Cheerios with Kyla.

7) Zero soda pop, no chocolate milk, and limit the juice.

Kyla is perfectly content with water, skim milk, and an occasional fruit juice (hopefully without high fructose corn syrup as the number 2 ingredient.

And… throw in a little flax seed and some lentils.

Give it a try. Your kids will love you for it — their lives will be better. It’s stewardship. It’s Christian.

I’ve been publishing a series of posts entitled “Teaching Little Kyla…” documenting and sharing our  journey of parental flubs, flaws, failures and accidental^ fortune. Posts that would normally be included as part of the “Teaching Little Kyla…” series will now be uniquely titled. At times we are teaching little Kyla and at other times little Kyla is teaching us. More falls in the latter.

A couple of weeks ago Kyla had just finished receiving her evening bath. She had been playing in the water with a foam alphabet system, sorting the letters more by color than by consonants and vowels ordered to spell certain words. She calls the foam characters her “super letters.”

Sarah was nearly finished drying and dressing our little one when for no apparent reason Kyla began to pray. The only plausible explanation was genuine gratitude.

“Dear Gawd, phank you for my baphtub… and… for my super letters.” Sarah responded, “Kyla, those are great things to be thankful for. There are some kids around the world that don’t have bathtubs or super letters.”

The world. Stopped. Instantly.

There are some kids around the world that don’t have bathtubs or super letters.

Kyla immediately had a frown across her face complete with angry and confused wrinkled eyebrows. As I watched from across the room I could see the deep trouble and grief that Kyla felt. She turned and looked up to Sarah and said, “No. They do. They have baphtubs and super letters.”

Sarah replied, “No. There are a lot of children – like the children we’ve been praying for in Haiti – that don’t have bathtubs or super letters.”

With anguish… and confusion… and agony… and distress on her face, Kyla looked down. And in the next moment, she looked up… and narrated the gospel.

“I will give them my baphtub and super letters.”

And the tears that welled up in my eyes began to run down my face.

Without agenda. Can’t we all love like a two year old?

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^ There is someone(s) greater than me/us (a divine being and a community of people) that intercede with grace and giving.

“Teaching Little Kyla…”
A series on Travis and Sarah’s journey of parental flubs, flaws, failures and accidental^ fortune.

When Kyla begins to pray she now touches her forehead, then her chest, then crosses her shoulders while saying, “In the name of the Fahver, in the name of the Son, and the Holwy Spiwint.” She proceeds to give thanks for the most simple things in life. Her genuine gratitude really shows and I’ll tell you more about that in my next post.

After seeing and hearing Kyla do the sign of the cross, someone asked her, “Are you catholic?” To which I replied, “Of course she’s catholic.” The word catholic means “one, universal.” The people of God are one church. There may be some organizational nomenclature that distinguishes one gathering of the church from another gathering of the church but ultimately there is only one church, the people of God.

Scott Peterson, University Chaplain at MVNU, asked last night if I have read the book “Who Will be Saved?” by William H. Willimon. I have yet to read it but am putting that as a priority on my reading list. Scott disclosed that the essential theme of the text recognizes the tension between “the narrow way” of Jesus and a universalist perspective that suggests all paths of religion or the unlimited grace of God allow all people access to God (I am not attempting fully or accurately describe universalism; that is a conversation for another day). If I recall the conversation with Scott correctly, he said that Willimon (in the previously mentioned text or another) suggests that those who will be saved must be a part of the church.

What does it mean to be a part of the church?

What does it mean to be identified by the sign of the cross?

Please comment.

^ There is someone(s) greater than me/us (a divine being and a community of people) that intercede with grace and giving.

“Teaching Little Kyla…”
A series on Travis and Sarah’s journey of parental flubs, flaws, failures and accidental^ fortune.

A couple of nights ago I was praying with Kyla and we prayed for all the children in Haiti – that God would protect them and be present with them. The next day while we were sitting at the table sharing a meal Kyla closed her eyes and said, “Dear God, thank you for the Haitis.”

“The Haitis” – or, the Haitians. Are we truly and genuinely thankful for all people in the world the make up all of humanity?

I am challenged by my 2-year old daughter every day.

Humility.

^ There is someone(s) greater than me/us (a divine being and a community of people) that intercede with grace and giving.

“Teaching Little Kyla…”
A series on Travis and Sarah’s journey of parental flubs, flaws, failures and accidental^ fortune.

The Invisible Children and Remember Nhu Clubs at MVNU are hosting an Art and Poetry awareness and fundraising event tonight (Wednesday) in the student union. Kyla will be presenting her piece of art that she and I composed this weekend. Her piece is called “Red and Yellow, Black and White” in reference to the song, “Jesus Loves the Little Children.” As we talked about “all the children of the world” and our need to show and express love to all, Kyla used her hands and fingers to paint red, yellow, and black around a cut-out of Africa that I drew, cut out, and taped to the canvas board making a white silhouette of the country where the dehumanization of children continues through militarization and exploitation. Though I cannot talk with Kyla yet about child soldiers and sexual trafficking, she can begin to understand that love and kindness for all of humanity. Eventually, she’ll hear their stories.

We are incapable to loving absent from relationship. We are incapable of relationship absent from the context of story. We have to learn about each other. We have to be aware of the formative life experiences that make us who we are both individually and as a collective group of people in a global community.

The world is our canvas. May we cover it with strokes of love.

^ There is someone(s) greater than me/us (a divine being and a community of people) that intercede with grace and giving.

“Teaching Little Kyla…”
A series on Travis and Sarah’s journey of parental flubs, flaws, failures and accidental^ fortune.

Kyla now begins all her prayers by saying, “God, thank you.” That’s it. “God, thank you.” When is the last time that has been your prayer? Are your prayers prayed out of worry? Selfishness? How about gratitude? Thankfulness for the activity of God amongst his people.

When Sarah and I purchased Kyla’s bed to transition her from crib to awesome Malm from Ikea, I finished putting it together and Kyla looked up at me from a little less than a meter high and said, “Sank you, daddy.” She had a bed. And she was thankful.

Since then there have been a number of times that Kyla has surprised me in her simple statements of “thank you.” For what are you thankful? To whom are you thankful? Are you satisfied with what has been provided for you or do you normally feel ripped off? Like you drew the short straw. Like things never go your way. Or… like you deserve more? What gives us that sense of entitlement? What makes us so centered on having more? What keeps us from being grateful?

Is Kyla’s gratitude actually something that exists due to what she receives or possesses? How has she learned to be grateful? How do you exemplify gratitude and for what are you grateful?

^ There is someone(s) greater than me/us (a divine being and a community of people) that intercede with grace and giving.

“Teaching Little Kyla…”
A series on Travis and Sarah’s journey of parental flubs, flaws, failures and accidental^ fortune.

I have been considering getting a tattoo for way too long now. I need to just do it. The one thing keeping me from it is that I don’t want to be in the “everybody’s doing it / it makes you a trendy ‘with it’ emergent” category. If I do proceed to have a colored liquid substance commonly called ink injected/burnt into my epidermis I would choose to have some combination of either Hebrew or Greek lettering imprinted. I know Greek better so I am more likely to go with that. My current choices are as follows:

1.) The 5th chapter of The Gospel of Matthew in Greek text line after line across my shoulders and back.
2.) Same as above but down my side along the rib cage area.
3.) Alpha on one forearm. Omega on the other.
4.) ek statis� in Greek (somewhere).
5.) splaxnizomai in Greek (somewhere).
6.) ekklesia in Greek (somewhere).
7.) “I heart Mom” on my shoulder inside a heart (ok, not really… just to clear that up).

Kyla has been learning the English alphabet. She is really starting to get it down and is not yet 2 years old. “J-K-L-M-N-O” is giving her some trouble but she nails the “P.” I’ve started to teach her Hebrew and Greek. She does well with “Aleph-Bet-Gimel-Dalet” and “Alpha-Beta-Gamma-Delta.” I was thinking about making up some flashcards for her but then realized I could simply use my tattoos.

Should I get a tattoo?
What should it read?
If you had a child age 13-19 who wanted a tattoo would you allow it?
Should I be teaching my daughter the biblical languages?

^ There is someone(s) greater than me/us (a divine being and a community of people) that intercede with grace and giving.

"Teaching Little Kyla…"
A series on Travis and Sarah’s journey of parental flubs, flaws, failures and accidental^ fortune.

I’ve recently been amazed at what my daughter apparently knows. Since Kyla’s birth, Sarah and I have been intentionally making decisions that form Kyla’s understanding. We primarily do not want to inadvertantly be promoting or reinforcing behaviors that we will want/need to undo in the near future. Prayer is one of those things that is so misunderstood that I actively attempt to teach Kyla what prayer is and what prayer isn’t. First, I must have my own healthy understanding of prayer.

Two things that prayer is not:
1.) Something that happens only before meals and bedtime or at a church gathering.
2.) A list of requests focused mostly on prosperity, health, and safety.

Everyday an e-mail is sent out to all MVNU faculty, staff, and students. The e-mail contains any prayer requests submitted by those in our community. 99.78% of those requests are medical in nature. I also see numerous students in the cafeteria bowing their heads to pray prior to their meals. I understand that thankfulness for food is good and that when one’s daily diet consists of pizza, hot dogs, and burritos that oneself does, indeed, need prayer for such filth to be miraculously transformed into nutritional goodness. I’ll post more on prayer later but want to stay on track… teaching little Kyla. I will at random times throughout the day ask Kyla if she wants to pray – sometimes before a meal, sometimes when we are playing with blocks, sometimes in the middle of a story… sometimes… whenever. Our prayers always begin with statements of gratitude.

A small tear came to my eye when we were laying on the couch one morning shortly after Kyla woke up (she likes to lay and cuddle in the morning). Out of nowhere she turned her head up to me and said, "Pray?"
I held her hands and she closed her eyes and said, "God… thank you."

^ There is someone(s) greater than me/us (a divine being and a community of people) that intercede with grace and giving.

My friend Matt Frye commented on my last post about parenting. I was simply going to reply in the comments but his thought were too funny and legit to leave there. Here is his comment followed by my response:

"dude, remember that scene in ‘the little memaid’ where flounder and that seagull and ariel (spelling?) are naming things. like they named that fork something strange. and then she started combing her hair like it was spaghetti. man, that was funny. i don�t know why ‘the littler mermaid’ came to mind, but it did. maybe because of that scene and because of flounder the fish. and because the dad in the movie is awesome. remember that beard? and his deep voice. and his trident. and also, i feel that one does not have to be a parent, or a good parent to offer good words about parenting. like i�ve never been deep sea diving before, but if i read a few books about it i am sure that i could offer some good words. especially if the book was written by sebastion the lobster. or was he a crab? and why did he have a sweet caribean accent and everyone else spoke plain english. ok i�m done. see you daddy."

MY RESPONSE :

I know why "The Little Mermaid" came to mind. It is Kyla’s favorite movie and Ariel is her favorite character. Well… I’m not sure… she also really likes "Annie" and "Monsters, Inc." I like her favorite movies because Ariel has a substantial identity crisis and subverts the imperial reign of her father the king (though I don’t hope that I’ll need to be subverted; nor do I plan on bearing a trident or running for political office). I really hope that Kyla realizes that her identity is "in Christ" rather than being defined by voices that represent the popular appeal to human goodness or self-hatred. The fork is called a "dinglehopper" and, yes, Kyla always tries to comb her hair with her fork (which she is now beginning to use quite well unless she is stabbing peas). Sebastian is a crab not a lobster. All crabs have Caribbean accents. Or… do they? Maybe crabs speak "normally" and we’re all just too arrogant to realize that we (whoever "we" is) are the ones with the accents.

On to other movies… Annie. Annie is an orphan and Kyla loves her. Enough said. Monsters, Inc. employees Mike Wazowski and James P. Sullivan are just plain funny and Kyla looks and acts like "Boo." The children in the movie are like the "untouchables" of 1c. Israel (except that children get scared by monsters in their closets and I don’t think that ever really happened). "Sully" ends up being the figure that redeems the monsters’ relationship with the children. Rather than scaring the "dangerous" children, Sully leads the energy-creating-and-capturing-monster-world-industry to not fear the children. Interestingly, those named "monsters" are the ones who must learn to not fear the "unclean" and "untouchable."

Has anyone attempted to buy a "box" television from a store recently? I hope not. If you have you would have found yourself to be greatly disappointed in the selection of these now archaic entertainment devices. Where have all the televisions gone? They have disappeared – stricken from the market unless one is buying a used product through ebay or craigslist or at a local garage/yard sale.

This holiday season the plasma/LCD flat screen television appears to be one of the most highly marketed products targeted toward the average consumer. And why shouldn’t it be? Americans are wasting hours and hours of their lives everyday consuming images and propaganda without much consideration of the quality of information consumed and the quantity of time spent disassociating from human to human interaction. So if such behavior is going to be the culturally and sociologically imposed norm then why not do it in high style? Shouldn’t we all use our hard earned money to get the highest 1080p clarity on a 3.5" deep 52" HDTV with 3 HDMI inputs, 2 component video inputs, 3 composite inputs, 10,000:1 dynamic contrast ratio, and a partridge in a pear tree? Afterall, it’s not as if there are people in our world who could benefit from our research, technology, and resources in order to provide food, basic medical care, and clean water. Plus, it’s much more comfortable to zone out in front of a screen rather than enter into a meaningful and self-disclosing conversation with another human being. And who wants to spend time interacting with their family anyway?

Where have all the televisions gone? No where. The old, heavy box version has simply been replaced with a cleaner, brighter, sleeker version, increasing and enabling addictions to biased and unintelligent "news" sources, the distorted, sexualized lives of "celebrities," life-destroying gaming systems, and individualization.

Tis the the season.

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