Archive for the ‘sarcasm’ Category

I have read a number of articles about using a reader in order to keep up with blog content when wanting to read numerous blogs. Tyler Braun wrote about using Google Reader. I think if I were to use a reader it would be one from Google since they, in conjunction with Apple, do in fact run the universe (by which I mean, if Google and Apple didn’t exist there would be a cosmic implosion causing all things to move to a higher state of order which is simply unacceptable and perfectly acceptable in the postmodern era).^ I have elected, however, to avoid using a reader. Part of the blogging and blog reading experience extends well beyond the content hammered out on a keyboard. A reader delivers the content of individual posts but does not capture the fullness of a blog. Many bloggers spend hours designing layouts, color schemes, and headers (or is that just me) in order to 1) provide the reader with a pleasant and artistically engaged online experience; and 2) offer content and links that enhance the message of the written material. Unless Google’s Reader has a content feature that I have yet to explore I would suggest that one simply use the bookmarking and RSS features found in internet browsers in order to directly visit the sites about which you care. Appreciate the art. Appreciate the feel. Don’t just read it. Experience it.

^ For those needing explanation due to the sarcastic language concerning existentialism, postmodernism, and theology(ism), I may write another post with a more modernly-toned explanation.

Define irony.

The president of the country whose government shot a rocket at the moon was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Really? Really. Really NASA? What did the moon ever do to you? And if it did do something to you should you really have retaliated with such force? Who bombs the moon? Honestly.

Some, in their quest for intellectual greatness, may still be wondering, “I never learned it in 2nd grade. What does NASA stand for?” I’ll tell you what NASA stands for. It stands for violence, environmental toxification, monetary waste, and any activity that could mess with gravity enough to possibly throw the earth from its axis and implode the entire cosmos.

Yes, the United States’ National Aeronautics and Space Administration launched a rocket at an object whose gravitational pull supposedly controls the ebb and flow of the earth’s oceans. As if the recent typhoons and tsunamis were not enough, the U.S. government had to spend millions of tax dollars and “money” borrowed from China to invest in what could have been and still could be the largest water displacement experiment in human history.

Don’t get me wrong, I highly value imagination, research, and exploration. My father was a chemistry and physics teacher. I earned state placement honors in a tri-state chemistry exam competition. I have visited NASA and even when I was younger, Colonel James Irwin, the first astronaut on the moon to drive the lunar rover, ate dinner at my house. My sister spilled an entire platter of turkey onto the floor which now seems to be rather minimal on the impact-o-meter compared to a rocket hitting the moon.

I have a difficult time justifying the expenditure of resources to send a rocket to the moon when many, many humans around the planet where we all live do not have access to clean water or healthy food. Surely, if the people in of the United States can imagine and figure out a way to collect lunar data through an observation and sensing satellite, there is a way to discover and implement processes of provision for basic life and health necessities for those who are oppressed by the otherwise gross waste of natural resources. How else might we spend our money and time in a manner that better cares for humanity?

That’s one small step for man. One giant lapse for mankind.

[Be sure to check out the questions at the end of this post.]

I just read a blog post by Prodigal John (Jon Acuff) at Stuff Christians Like. I realized as I read his confession that I, too, am a Christian Culture Snob (though I think I already knew that I was). I would suggest that the proper language to use would be “Christian SUBculture Snob” since the Christian subculture is not a dominant presence within a broader culture to which many Christians conform, the dominant culture of the American empire. Nonetheless, I am a Christian Culture Snob according to Jon:

A Christian culture snob is a Christian that makes fun of people and things that are deemed “Christian.” I believe am cooler than you and able to edit “Love your neighbors” to actually say, “Love your neighbors unless you deem them cheesy and then instead feel free to kick them like a hacky sack woven of burlap and sarcasm.” Basically, I am prone to turn my nose up at some of the things you do.

Although I’ve reduced my degree of Christian culture snobbery in the last few years, during high school it was at an all time high, which is when I ran into you Carmen. I think you were doing that Champion song with the devil cameo and maybe the whole God’s Army thing with the dog tags at the time. And Christian radio, you were just so bright and chipper all the time. I had a field day with both of you. But looking back on it, and fearing that I’ll fall prey to Christian culture snobs when my book comes out, I realize that I was wrong and really unloving. And even though I wish I could eradicate Christian culture snobbery, I am but a meager blogger, one man who wears a retainer at night, a unibrowed writer with only a small voice. But the least I can do is to help other people know if they’ve fallen into the same trap as me. The least I can do is create the …

Christian Culture Snob Scorecard. Here are my results:

1. +0 points. I equally crucify cheesy Christian programming and The Bachelorette.
2. +3 points. Not “Jesus Junk” but I do have some other phrases to describe the knick knackery that Christian bookstores often sell at the front.
3. +2 points. Chris Tomlin, no. I met him and he was cool. Casting Crowns, absolutely!
4. +1 point. I don’t get the goosebumps from “I Can Only Imagine” but Shane and Shane might get me a little.
5. +5 points. But… you can usually tell.
6. +10 points. This is my worst offense!
7. +3 points. Ha! Ha!
8. +2 points. Only mildly embellished jeans.
9. +5 points. That’s me.
10. +0 points. Nope. I’m fully aware.
11. +3 points. Indeed. It’s true.
12. +3 points. Not Man on Fire but… yes… many other films.
13. +1 points. Maybe even 18-19%.
14. +1 points. Ditto “The Fray.”
15. -2 points. I’m proud that I went to a Michael W. Smith concert because I brag about the fact that I fell asleep.
16. +2 points. You have an abnormal amount of disdain for the movies “Facing the Giants” or “Fireproof.”
17. +8 points. Once again… I fell asleep after 5 minutes of “FtG” and refuse to watch “Fireproof.”
18. +2 points.
19. -2 points. I regularly criticize the cheesy nature of Christian culture but do all that I can to change it.
20. +3 points. He is intense. Saw Stephen Baldwin at Ichthus and the crowd started chanting, “Bio Dome.”
21. +10 points. I just say that there is no such thing as Christian music.
22. +2 points. Kirk is right up there with pleated khakis and the Republican haircut.
23. +3 points. I’m not a middle-aged female.
24. +0 points. I checked out the site because I was hoping it would be satire.
25. +16 points. Indeed.
26. +4 points. Complete lack of wisdom.
27. +0 points. Not really.
28. +3 points. Oh, Thomas.
29. + 4 points. Forget the strong, godly man with the mysterious past. I just make fun of Christian romance novels in general.

I scored 93. Off the charts. Once again, I have to agree completely with Jon:

How did you score? To be honest, I fluctuate a little but on most days, I am on off the charts. But what this site is teaching me is that mocking doesn’t really do awesome things for Christianity. I’ve definitely blown that sometimes with what I write and am probably the guiltiest of all of us, but I realized something the other day. I’ve never once had a non-Christian say to me, “You know, this faith you’re making fun, this Christian culture you’re mocking sounds really intriguing. I think I do want to start an everlasting personal relationship with Jesus. Thank you for being so willing to make fun of Carmen for me.”

I must ask a question. OK… a couple of questions. Is it good that there is a Christian subculture? Is the current, popular Christian subculture even really “Christian?” What does a real, healthy, and good Christian culture look like?

This post is brought to you in part by your local chain Christian bookseller and the letters "D," "J," and "W" (but not in that order).

On pomomusings.com , Adam Walker Cleaveland did it. He brought it up . The WWJD bracelet. Adam confesses of his subcutural tendencies stating that he wore (4) WWJD? bracelets at one time. He asked for comments about one’s previous use of the not-so-glamorous Christina fashion (that’s funny) trend. I responded as follows:

———- Begin Response.
umm.
wow.
i had one.
it was blue.
navy.
i wore my one.org bracelet more.
and i had a shirt.
a cut off that i wore under my jersey for every high school soccer game.
what would jesus do?
compete in quasi-barbaric yet entertaining competition.
inflict intentional pain on others.
boast of a supposed athletic talent.
attack the integrity of a black and white striped human.
yeah.
that’s what jesus would do.

—————— End Response.

Of course Erwin McManus would argue for The Barbarian Way . Was Jesus a Barbarian?
I wonder if Jesus ever bought from a Parable Christian Store a bracelet  that read, "WWCD?" (What would Caesar do?). Too frequently we ask that question.

DISCLAIMER:
This post is part I of II of possibly the 2 most shallow and unthoughtful posts I’ve ever written and may or may not include a certain amount of sarcasm.

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